Being in a long queue, hoping to use an ATM service can be very frustrating at times
Thanks to these characters who make it annoying. I normally pray for 30 minutes at home before heading to the ATM so I don’t meet this kind of people on the Queue.
1. The Money Counter
The guy/lady that counts money before leaving the ATM. Ogbeni, ATM Machine no dey make mistake joor
As if the Machine will complete it for you if the money is not complete.
2. The Broke Ass
The dude that knows he does not have a kobo in his account nor expecting money from anyone, but hopes for a miracle
After wasting everyone’s’ time,’ insufficient balance’ will chase him away! Na them sabi cover ATM screen pass as if them wan withdraw millions.
Them go use Style chuk their ATM for pocket after the ATM show them Red Card so you all can think they are pocketing their money
3. The Balance Checker
The guy that multiplies the Queue just to check his balance You will be left wondering whether he does not receive alerts.
This set of people are very wicked, they don’t have anything reasonable to do at the ATM but won’t give the serious ones chance to do the needful.
4. The Big Guns
The guy that acts as if the world will end today. He goes to the ATM and you think he wants to withdraw his whole life savings.
At a point people will start begging him to remain some cash in the ATM so others can have something left to Withdraw too.
This set of people ehn, they seriously don’t have conscience, they want to withdraw 200k but won’t give the broke guy at their back chance to withdraw his 2k and leave.
5. The Recharge Card Buyer
This set of people are the most annoying ones.. They can drive from Lagos to Ibadan to use the ATM to buy Card N200
They stand in front of the ATM and battle with the Quickteller App while pressing their phone. Ogbeni, you no sabi your Phone number for head? Gerrout make another person use ATM na
Still them no go gree commot oooo. I wish the Banks can uninstall this Recharge card app on all ATM.
6. The Fighter
The dude that quarrels with the ATM. Even though the machine is prompting him that his pin is incorrect or card has expired, you will still see him complaining or screaming at the ATM.
What’s all this na? I used this card just this morning! Which kyn bank be this? The next thing, the frustrated people on the Queue go just shout “Oga let another person use am na”.
7. The Waka Waka
This set of people, you won’t see them on the Queue lai lai, they will just reappear from nowhere and start battling with you, Oga na my space you dey oooo…
If you argue with them, they will just tap someone else and Say “Oga no be me dey your Back?”
Most time, they get away with it but one Man for Ibadan ATM Queue fall one Nigga hand ooo, the Man said “Sir, you no dey my back, infact I no sabi you”.. Shame almost kill the guy that day.
I just dey battle with my Gala and coke dey laugh for my mind hehehehehe
7. The Runs Man
This ones will just be coming from their House, ignore the Queue and walk up to the next person on the Queue, hand over their ATM to the next person “Please help me use my ATM collect 2k”
They sometimes get booed but most of them no dey get Shame at all
8. The Browser
That man/woman that just goes there an stand for almost 20 minutes as if he/she is waiting for a Movie of 10GB to complete downloading…
When you go closer you discover the machine asked ‘Do you wish to proceed? Yes or No? And the olodo just did not press anything
These set of people are very proud ehn, them no go gree ask or beg people to help them.
9. The Helper
Done withdrawing or checking his/her balance but won’t leave the place.. Ends up tutoring the people “Oga Press 2”
Very annoying set of people.
10. The Instructor
No matter how straight the Queue is, they won’t stand straight to make the Queue a perfect line.. You see them stretching their Leg and trying to see what the person currently using the ATM is doing.
They are always the next on the Queue or the person behind the next person, always willing to help.. “Oga shey na Current or Savings? Press 3.. How much you wan Withdraw?”
Their reward is always in Heaven
11. The Oversabi’s
They know how to use the ATM and they help explain to everyone why There is No Service, why it is showing Issuers Issue and so on.
Oga, Na your Bank no get Network Na your papa do the ATM? Oversabi jati jati
12. The Proud Bastards
They just join the queue to Withdraw, waste time and pride wouldn’t allow them ask anyone. You begin to think they are here to browse
They won’t beg you to help them but someone volunteer to help, they allow he or she but won’t press their pin until you comot face, so they tap you to notifying you they are done pressing their pin.
They mostly don’t have more than 5k in their Account
13. The Beggars
(Oga help me pls) – these set of guys are annoying. They join the queue and end up begging for money.
You begin to hear things like ”Oga, abeg help me, ATM swallowed my card, I have no transport back home, the money I was expecting did not enter my account
Go check your inside your Toilet na, E fit don enter now.. lol
14. The Hawkers
They are always in 80/90% of most ATM spots.
They always have something to sell. It is either drinks, recharge cards, bible, snacks or anything hawkable lol.
15. Add Yours
Oya include yours, let’s know the type of people you have met at the ATM before.
We want to know.